Well people, until I get up and running with this whole blog thing I am being lame and practicing by putting up old blogs. Not to worry, I promise to add some interesting new content once I head out on my exciting new adventure next week. Until then, sorry to bore you with the old.
1. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship?
*Ummmm, what does relationship mean? Jose Cuervo and I broke up a few weeks ago because I cheated on him with Captain Morgan.
2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
*This morning, I don't do the whole dirty euro hippy thing.
3. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
*At 8am. I was at work with my head down on my desk fast asleep,,,, dreaming that I was not at work, but instead in bed snuggled up with Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt and Taye Diggs and ….
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
*15 minutes ago I was yelling at a cocky lawyer attempting to mitigate a $20,000.00 cancellation fee that this MOFO was trying to get out of scotch free because he thinks he is Donald Trump when in reality, this balding fat ass piece of shit probably has not gotten laid in years and has a stick up his ….
5. Are you any good at math?
*Statistics yes,,, recent statistic theory that I came up with that will be published for all national universities soon is:
-What is the ratio of men in Orange County that think with their very little head first before their other head? =
Mathematical Conclusion: According to recent statistical studies made throughout 2006, 99.9% of men think with their very little heads 100% of the time. The outliers, which are .01 of men that actually use their big head before their little ones, only due so because they recently went under a sex change.
6. Your prom night?
*You mean hotel party night, right? Actual attendance to the prom was under an hour. Hello people why the fuck would I sit at a dance that doesn't have open bar?? Come on now! What, so I can see who made Prom Queen (she will be an obese mom with five illegitimate children trying to get child support from her babies dady in five years),,Thanks but no thanks!
7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
*Yes, Hitler, Mussolini, and Castro
8. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school?
*Who gives a shit, next question..
9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?
*Sure do, it goes like bung bung, biddy bung bung, biddy bung bung biddy bung,,,, no seriously it does listen to it.
10. Last thing received in the mail?
*Plastic Surgery advertisements, hello, Southern Cal… I live in the land of the plastics!
11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
*Well beginning at 6am I started my day with a cup of coffee filled with whiskey, 9am refill with baileys, 12pm. (acceptable time to have a real drink) switched to scotch on the rocks, 1pm be sippin on gin and juice right now MOTHA FUCKA!
12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines?
*Yes, actually it is a proven fact that people that call and don't leave messages are stalkers and weirdoes, and, I choose not to categorize nor associate myself with them and instead make an extra effort to do the complete opposite. By the complete opposite I have been known to drunk dial people at times. And although I don't remember leaving multiple belligerent messages I have been told that I did indeed leave a message or two or three or four. :) Therefore clearly I am not a stalker...
13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
*What are you talking about I am still a virgin! :)
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
*Who wrote these fucking questions, LOOOOOOOSER! Oh wait I am answering the majority of them…NEXT
15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
*I don't know but my girlfriend gets lock jaw all the time and her name is "-------" and you can call her at (949) 210-5000….
18. Do you like the ocean?
*Love it, I wish I was a mermaid!
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?
*Yes, and I ate the whole damn thing on Christmas by myself and didn't share with my starving family.
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
*Yes in Amsterdam once and I don't remember the rest of the experience, except that I was very hungry after and my head was a little fuzzy.
23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
*Orange Vodka (preferably Kettle One if I am given a brand option)
22. Something you are excited about?
*Nothing, I am at work and am ready to jump off this second floor…. and I don't care if it's only two floors, I will jump HEAD FIRST!
-Alicia
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